When you say NO, are you heard? Are you able to respect others’ needs when they say NO?
If you believe you can’t say no, you’ll find other strategies that convey a no without stating it, like withdrawing, avoiding, lying, harboring resentment, or complaining to others.
When you communicate clearly and directly, it invites others to do the same.
My parents trained me to obey and not say no. I’d twist my plans to accommodate others’ last-minute requests.
Instead of asking myself what I want, my first reaction would be how can I give them what they want.
Putting everyone’s needs first left me exhausted and, at times, resentful.
Giving more than I was receiving was depleting.
Being able to say NO goes hand in hand with being told NO.
When you hear no, are you able to respect and receive it?
This was a game-changer with my children and my partner.
When I hear a no or am told to stop, I pause. I notice what’s happening within me.
- Do I have an agenda?
- Am I trying to control?
- Is fear making me pushy?
I sense what is happening between us because the health of our relationship is the most important thing to me.
- Do they feel pressured or pushed?
- Do they need privacy?
- Do they need time?
- Do they need more context for my request?
It creates mutually respectful relationships when we know our needs are honored.
When you allow another to have their NO fully, this gives them space to have a YES.
It gives them both freedom and connection in the relationship.
The trust it creates brings you closer.
If you’re seeking better relationships, I offer a complimentary clarity session.