You catch your breath as you stiffen against the pain.
Can it be true what they said?
Before your mind makes a choice, the damage takes root—your identity shifts. Your world turns sideways as you hear the cruel remark. No longer are you who you thought you were. Now, you see yourself through someone else’s eyes.
It’s difficult for a young mind with a burgeoning sense of self to reject what they hear.
So, the lie sinks into the body, whatever the words may be. Dumb. Ugly. Lazy. Not Enough. Unwanted. Unloveable.
You know the painful words that changed you.
What lie does your body carry?
Playing quietly near the front steps of our home, my father said he wished he had never adopted me. At that moment, my world turned upside down. I froze in shock and acted like I didn’t hear him. I squeezed my body tightly not to cry. A deep shame kept me from seeking comfort from anyone. I locked the secret and the pain inside.
My body heard that I was unwanted and feared abandonment. This new reality permeated future relationships. Below my awareness, it caused immense insecurity, a distrust of love, and alternating clinginess and distancing. I abandoned my partners before they would abandon me.
A sentence spoken once had an unintended, devastating impact. Imagine the effect of repeated offenses.
My body and psyche adopted this lie. The lie that I wasn’t loveable or worth having around.
I reacted in maladaptive, life-inhibiting ways to protect myself, further pushing away the closeness I feared and sought. I was living a lie that had no grounding in truth.
Twenty years ago, my father’s unexpected death led me to my healing work. My studies taught me how to deeply listen to my body and others’ bodies, to hear what was unspoken and what pain was still deeply held in another.
Deep listening and sensing dismantle the lies. No longer shamefully carried, the web of compensating behavior collapses. The fears that keep intimacy away subside.
The beautiful truth of who you are is revealed.
If you’re ready to receive support and begin your emotional healing process, I invite you to apply for a confidential, complimentary relationship clarity session.
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